More and more of my jokes are getting lapped as I get older

At least my KaZaa jokes are still mine.

Pajamagrams Creating an Unhealthily Unrealistic Unsexy Image for Men

As the resident purveyor of TV shopping (note to hipster bloggers we had the "snuggy" covered way back in August), and we'd love to cover the Sham-Wow (but how? it's so awesome), we'd now like to tackle the insidious Valentine's Day creation: The Pajamagram.

Behold:

Clearly the creation of psychopath, clearly.

Now notice that following the adjective "sexy" the reveal a model who may indeed be "sexy" to most, but nonetheless is wearing what amounts to a wife beater and glorified zubaz pants...


But, maybe that's just the ad, surely they keep the racy stuff on the website...

Oh my, shield your eyes children.

When did freshman dorm casual "sexy" based solely on availability and if anything for being an interesting change of pace, become the gold standard? Bullshit, it's comfort and laziness, as such, we present our new "sexy" men's line:

Hotness.

Ed. Note: We will admit that this particular pair are kinda thing that is either the most awesome thing we've ever seen or just terrifying (depending on the wearer[s]):

Hit me on my burner prepaid wireless

In college my parents had no interest in helping me out with a cell phone, especially since they had not accepted the technology themselves. So for purposes of survival I was forced into the prepaid wireless cell phone ripoff.

It looked a little like this piece of futuristic technological magic, but without the fancy side grips:

"What's that? No dude. Who uses livewire anymore? I've got KaZaa."

Anyway, I always felt some shame at not having a "real" cell phone (somehow the fact that it was like $5 to check my voicemail didn't bother me as much). It also lacked the street cred of a pager, which, while infinitely more gangsta, was totally impractical as pay phones had just jumped to 34 cents, and it's not like calling a bunch of long distance cell phone numbers was practical on a pay phone anyway.

But, now, in 2008, the prepaid wireless finally get's its just desserts as a instrument of drug dealing owned solely by violent immigrant drug dealers and terrorists.



Yeh, a bricolage* of Sri Lankan world beat, the Streets, some Clash sampling, the style of 2 Live Crew, and finally my Motorola $20 a month minimum get's some well earned 'thuglife' points.

Most of this is just a warm up to the hum-dinger.

*Entertaining AND Educational, its Infotainment!

**The Beastie Boys are not cool, they had that Sabotage video, and that's it, seriously, not cool.