Why Jack Shephard is Emo...

• Mad at his Dad? Check.
• Went to Thailand and got weird stupid tattoos? Check.
• Always crying way too easily? Check.
• Constantly putting in way too much face time with the ladies only to wuss out? Check.
• Likes "ironic jokes" but only in the sense that you just repeat something with a different inflection (...not actually funny). Check.
• Listens to "Saves the Day?" Currently unknown.
• Listens to Pixies' "Gouge Away" doesn't like the Pixies, just the title? Debatable.
• Grow ironic beard while still fastidiously maintaining douchey haircut? Check.
• Smashes mirrors? Check.
• Smashes pictures of his childhood home? Check.
• Used to be on Party of Five? Check.