This is my first blog-as-you-go blog so bear with me. or just skip this post. I hate reading those blog-as-you-go posts (I'll try to make mine more readable).
Ahhh hell. What did I get myself into?? The first scene of the movie is a very 90's sunglass-wearin Will Smith driving a Porche while Martin Lawrence eats a cheeseburger. The first line:
Smith: "What is this 'havin a picnic shit' in my car?"
Lawrence: "Man, I don't get my sex at home. Don't deny me this."
...I should turn this movie off right now and go to bed. or listen to music. or fold laundry. or anything.
I forgot how much I hate the 90's. taaaaaacky. I'm pretty happy that the 'single earring on dudes' went out of style.
Ha Ha. The chief is the dude who betrayed everyone in The Matrix. And JoJo the informant is that slimy nephew from The Sopranos. This movie was clearly a career gateway for many B-Listers.
Enter the first of hopefully many fart jokes. I'm confused on how someone could mistake a rotting corpse for a fart -- unless that's the kinda fart rep that Big Willie weilds -- which makes me respect him a little bit more.
oh this is getting painful. I just watched Martin do an impression of Will Smith's character. I just checked the amount of time left in the movie and it was only 35 minutes. ...oh good some explosions and guns. this is slightly better than listening to Martin's jokes.
ahh the white guy is playing basketball while smoking a cigar. This is not even funny irony. not at all. And then Mike Lowry (Will Smith) picks up the basketball and sinks one immediately.
Okay. I'm only halfway through and I can't take this anymore. I'll save this draft and post more later.
