Donald Trump

Found my new favorite toy.

Lauren Winchester uses a ruler to put on her boots

It might be the coolest thing I've ever heard of. And it's especially cool because she's not ashamed of it at all.

Hit me on my burner prepaid wireless

In college my parents had no interest in helping me out with a cell phone, especially since they had not accepted the technology themselves. So for purposes of survival I was forced into the prepaid wireless cell phone ripoff.

It looked a little like this piece of futuristic technological magic, but without the fancy side grips:

"What's that? No dude. Who uses livewire anymore? I've got KaZaa."

Anyway, I always felt some shame at not having a "real" cell phone (somehow the fact that it was like $5 to check my voicemail didn't bother me as much). It also lacked the street cred of a pager, which, while infinitely more gangsta, was totally impractical as pay phones had just jumped to 34 cents, and it's not like calling a bunch of long distance cell phone numbers was practical on a pay phone anyway.

But, now, in 2008, the prepaid wireless finally get's its just desserts as a instrument of drug dealing owned solely by violent immigrant drug dealers and terrorists.



Yeh, a bricolage* of Sri Lankan world beat, the Streets, some Clash sampling, the style of 2 Live Crew, and finally my Motorola $20 a month minimum get's some well earned 'thuglife' points.

Most of this is just a warm up to the hum-dinger.

*Entertaining AND Educational, its Infotainment!

**The Beastie Boys are not cool, they had that Sabotage video, and that's it, seriously, not cool.

A Youtube for Shane...

A catchy but perplexing youtube for C.B.&B.'s local expert on all things awesome and Rolling Stonsey:



On the off chance that you did not enjoy those delightful strains, I'll make up for it with a guaranteed slam dunk for everyone, EVERYONE. Now pay attention to the video as well...

"I don't want. your. life."

Back From Hiatus

hello all.

I've been MIA for a while, but I'm happy to report that I have returned. I will soon be posting accounts of my travels to Louisville, KY, Dallas, TX, my love affair with the B52's, new employment, Big Buck Hunter: Safari, and several other topics.

In the meantime if anyone needs some beans, Kyle and I have an abundance. Somehow we miscalculated and over-bought beans of several varieties. Green beans, baked beans, refried beans, pork & beans... whatever your bean is, we have a surplus.

We must have mistakenly thought that we were running low on beans and bought more without knowing that our stores had already been replenished! What a blunder!!

Go, Nationals?

Yep, still don't have my computer back yet.

Further proof that drugs are bad for your body...

I submit for your viewing pleasure, "The Greatest Rap Battle Ever."

I also ponder, why didn't I go to a high school this cool?

PSS - I didn't properly post my last video clip, which is of the new Justice video.

Derby Notes

Well, after three days and nights of stimulating a 9" rise into the the proverbial fly of the Louisville, KY economy, my friends and I have returned home. I'm not sure if anything valuable was learned on this trip or not. Oh wait, there was one thing. Black eyes are awesome. I look like this dude.

Black eyes and slap fights in busy bars are pretty much the funniest things ever. That and telling every Cubs fan you see that you think their squad is garbage. I only got one good response. It was, "Go fuck yourself!" It was the only answer that I respected all day. Most of those losers were like, "Yeah. I know. This may be our year though. Soriano's hurt now. Just wait til he gets back." I was begging a Cubs fan to hit me in the face all day long. Turns out I had to settle for a stiff right jab from one Michael Patrick Dolan. I will be paying dearly karma-wise for the rest of the year for many of my actions/words in bars around Louisville. For the most part though, I think i was tipping enough to maybe balance it out a bit.

Apparently a horse died in the derby race. I found out about this the next day as I didn't see a single horse all day on Saturday. Not even an image of a horse on a screen. That's how cool the KY Derby is. The horses are a complete afterthought to the debauchery and comaraderie shared by my friends, myself, and anyone with the good sense to not wear a Cubs shirt to a big event. Use it, abuse it, put it away wet, get it out again tomorrow. Getchu some! Get after it! Do somethin with it!

You want to party?

Let's party.

[NOTE: I really want one of those black fold up baton things.]