Friday, May 23, 2008

Hit me on my burner prepaid wireless

In college my parents had no interest in helping me out with a cell phone, especially since they had not accepted the technology themselves. So for purposes of survival I was forced into the prepaid wireless cell phone ripoff.

It looked a little like this piece of futuristic technological magic, but without the fancy side grips:

"What's that? No dude. Who uses livewire anymore? I've got KaZaa."

Anyway, I always felt some shame at not having a "real" cell phone (somehow the fact that it was like $5 to check my voicemail didn't bother me as much). It also lacked the street cred of a pager, which, while infinitely more gangsta, was totally impractical as pay phones had just jumped to 34 cents, and it's not like calling a bunch of long distance cell phone numbers was practical on a pay phone anyway.

But, now, in 2008, the prepaid wireless finally get's its just desserts as a instrument of drug dealing owned solely by violent immigrant drug dealers and terrorists.



Yeh, a bricolage* of Sri Lankan world beat, the Streets, some Clash sampling, the style of 2 Live Crew, and finally my Motorola $20 a month minimum get's some well earned 'thuglife' points.

Most of this is just a warm up to the hum-dinger.

*Entertaining AND Educational, its Infotainment!

**The Beastie Boys are not cool, they had that Sabotage video, and that's it, seriously, not cool.

2 comments:

Bert said...

I have to agree on the Beastie Boys. Maybe I would get them if I was from Long-John Island, or like screachy, whiny vocals.

Brendan said...

scene: [in front of a big buck hunter machine next to a digital jutebox in a local watering hole]

Classmate run into by accident: Wait, so was it you guys that played M.I.A. "paper planes" like three times in row followed by Kelly Clarkson "since U been gone?"

[blank drunkin giggling]...

Same classmate: "What am I even asking? Of course it was you guys, of course.

[M.I.A. "paper planes" plays again]