"Troy" Glossary

Sauerwein and myself have discussed recently the need for a glossary of terms that our group of friends who grew up together in Troy, IL. Most of it is nonsense and ridiculous and not entertaining but -- what the hell, here it is for posterity.

McGee - 1. noun. A young man with a substantial and visible amount of charisma and virility. Named for a character from the adult film Safari Jane.

2. verb. To engage in sexual activity with a fresh female

Being quite the McGee, I predict that Henry will take that mad fly honey home tonight and McGee her.

Rap Tap - 1. verb. An unknown term that was once used in Canada. Most likely some type of award given by a homeless man to vacationing intoxicated teenagers from the states. Given to Luke Wells in 2002.

2. verb. Possibly "Wrap-Tap," Which might be a creative way to describe intercourse, i.e. "wrap it and tap it."

3. verb. An activity enacted on a homeboy who is sleeping/passed out, such as spraying water from a spray bottle, drawing genitals on homeboy's forehead, or tickling homeboy's face with genitals.

After enduring several minutes of Rap-Tapping, Kyle woke up and exclaimed: "Guys, stop rap-tapping me! Go rap-tap Crosby!"

Young Master - noun. A man with a bright future who, at a precocious age, has reached the pinnacle of Mastery. syn. "Youthful Maestro."

Dice - 1. verb. To abruptly awaken a homeboy(usually because he is late for work), by unscrupulous means. syn. Rap-Tap.

2. verb. To engage in some kind of activity with a female, whether on the dance floor or in the bedroom.

3. verb. To out-wit, out-smart, or out-play an enemy in a nightlife setting.

"Sauerwein, STOP DICING ME!!"

Smandarin - noun. A club located in downtown St. Louis that plays phat beats, has mad fly honeys, and is a hot-spot for men who love Asian women (A known hotspot for St. Louis' Yakuza faction).

Let's go to Smandarin tonight and listen to the phat beats, mingle with the mad fly honeys, and get smasbied.

The Sauerwein - noun. A dance move that involves hunching over and twisting from the hips. related to: QWG

#1 Grandpa - noun. A term reserved for the whitest boy in the room who demonstrates an ability to say random and stupid shit. Usually indicated by wearing the hat.

Tonight Gene is the #1 Grandpa.

#1 Goon - noun. See "#1 Grandpa"

Facebeard - noun. The ultimate symbol of virility and character. A collection of hairs located centrally on a man's face that indicate qualities similar to lumberjacks and cowboys.

Mouth Breather -

Knuckle-Dragging - verb. The ape-like gait of a homeboy who has had a few too many cold cocktails throughout the evening and now walks with his/her primate arms hanging low and handknuckles dragging, or almost dragging, the ground. Can result in running into bystanders or causing them gut-busting laughter.

"remember when Terrance got so drunk in Memphis that he was Knuckle-Dragging all over Beale Street?"

House - verb. To demonstrate your skills and show your opponents that you mean business; often used in relation during Touch Screen Game or Game with the ladies.

"If Steve was at the top of his game he would've Housed that shit!"

Smasbied - noun; state of being. How one might react to a string of several very strong cocktails. Named for a man who once gave a false name while under the influence of boozehol and didn't elect to give their real name. Indicates that a person isn't able to make proper decisions about talking to people (read: women), and will occasionally strike out with MFH's.

Jose - noun. person. A man who first appeared years ago near Lake Ozarks, MO at a place called Bayhill Yunkers

Moosetache - noun. Facial hair that might be reminiscent of Nicolas Cage, or Tom Selleck, or any number of individuals who have an amazing version of facial hair between their nose and upper lip. Often this is accompanied with a desire to either touch women or baiting young boys with candy (sometimes Mike'n'Ikes's).

Homeboy has a really awesome Moosetache"

Tasty Treat -

Jasper -

Phat Beat -

Baby Knees -

Mad Fly HoneyBaby -

Touchscreen -

QWG - noun. "Quintessential White Goon." Marked by a propensity to do the whitest possible thing in any situation. Watch for The Sauerwein, or any combination of awkward dance moves.

HIM - noun. Jason Tedesco, as described by a stranger while acquiring Chicken Burgers syn. Jesus-like character.

Unknown Stranger at McDonald's: "Are you HIM?!??"

Jason Tedesco: "I am he."

Chicken Burgers -

Mini Burgers -

Bo Peep -

Brain -

Skull -

Cut -

Miniature Van -

Mini Cups -

Subaru -

Combinations -

The Rumor - noun. Refers to the rumor that Terry Swalley was getting butt-humped in the back of a pick-up truck in the Tri-Township Park. As stated by a fellow Triad H.S. graduate, which has been proven false, but is still propagated by Swalley's best friends.

FaceHump

Steak It and Shake It -

Keystone Light -

The Black Death -

Lebanon, IL -

Smichael Smikesell -

China -

Midtown Billiards -

Shooters - noun. A drinking establishment in Metropolis, IL. The pinnacle of fun and excitement.

Roxy's -

Lucas Park -

Shorthead -