Mad fly honeys approach. Two of them, significantly, are Asian. I am obsessed with Asian chicks. I decide that I must charm them.
The mad fly Asian honeys, using their wily Pacific charm, ask to go ahead of us. They assure us that they will not take long. There is general acquiescence among my group.
In an attempt to establish rapport, I ask the girls to confirm the fact that they aren't planning to use the toilet for defecation. Their responses run from "ewww" to "gross" to "girls don't poop -duh".
In an effort to rebut their last statement, I remind the honeys of a video called Two Girls One Cup. For those unaware of this video, it strongly suggests that girls do, in fact, poop.
The honeys respond with utter disgust at my wit. They eye me as if I am one of the inbred rapists from the movie Deliverance (in retrospect, maybe I should have commented on their "purdy mouths" and demanded that they "squeal like a pig".)
After using the restroom, they quickly retreat to a distance that leaves them physically unable to fellate me.
They win.
2 comments:
Perhaps if instead of name-dropping the grossest inside joke in internet history you referenced something a little more endearing...how about "Everybody Poops?" I argue you would have gotten a more likely-to-fellate response.
I recommend you check the Google image of this book: there's a Asian on the cover. Lo, this tome was written by an Asian woman! Now you're showing your hipness to Asian culture. Right on. For if there's one thing that Asians love, it's other Asians!
Excellent point. In retrospect, what really strikes me is the utter futility of my pickup line: either the girls are repulsed (most likely) or the girls are attracted (less likely, and the net effect is not fellatio but more likely me getting pooped on later in the evening). Lose-lose situation.
Also, excellent usage of the word Lo, sir.
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