Monday, April 14, 2008

Cancellation of Saw mini-series raises questions about CBS's commitment to morbidity


In move a described as "mainly political," CBS gave the quick hook to its "Saw" mini-series after only a single episode. CBS executive Ray Romano said the public backlash was just too much to overcome. Romano admitted that even he had to look away during certain moments of carnage. "I hadn't witnessed such tortuous, incessent needling since my last episode with that bitch Doris Roberts." Romano said he was initially intrigued by the mini-series for unorthodox reasons. "The series required casting a lot of lame-ducks, just a bunch of pathetic losers whose only real skill is dying in a painful, but intriguing way. The cast of Big Brother 2 was perferct, and were given the parts as part of their severance packages, which for some reason we hadn't paid them."
The Saw creators weren't shocked by the news. "We thought Dexter was the bridge we needed to get to the mainstream, but I guess the worlds just not yet ready. At heart, we knew we were destined for Spike TV."
Romano fears the cancellation will have a backlash of its own, as viewers will question its commitment to artistically portraying death, hopelessness, ruined childhoods, and molestation. "The people need to trust us. Our commitment to morbidity has never been stronger. Just this week we're airing new episodes of Criminals Minds, Cold Case, CSI: NY, CSI: Miami, CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, 48 Hours Mystery, Cane, Jericho, Without a Trace, the Ghost Whisperer, NCIS, and 60 minutes with Mike Wallace, whose technically a ghost. The people really have nothing to fear, besides eventually dying and maybe molestation."

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