Metallica: Day 5

So last night a girl asked Sauerwein a hypothetical question:

"If you were going on a road trip and could only listen to 5 CD's, what would they be?"

The crowd went nuts. Sauerwein was elated. Girl was confused. We couldn't have planned that better. Kyle's excitement took over him and he loudly proclaimed that "JOHANN SEBASTIAN BACH F**KING RULES!"

Right now I'm listening to "The Memory Remains" as performed live at Cuyahoga Falls, OH on July 8, 1998. Hetfield just said something so ridiculous I can't bear repeating it. My major beef this past week was that Jimmy H's vocal inflections have been so awful that it renders some songs unlistenable. **Good God, it's the end of the song now and he's yelling "come-on!!" to the crowd to keep singing the lyrics. It's like desperate anger. Song's over and now it's "Bleeding Me." so intense.** The vocals make you want to think who actually talks like that??!? It's actually worse live, so I fear that "The Field" actually does talk like that, which makes listeners suspect that he's either mentally handicapped or recently suffered a massive stroke.

After a few days of this experiment, we have decided to slightly amend the rules. First off, we have decided that going to music shows is acceptable because 1) they may not return during a non-metallica/bach month, 2) we don't want artists to suffer from this contest because of the lack of our presence, and 3) it's like being in any other establishment and the music is out of our control (we probably would have explained it any way we could've. we're still going to go to shows).

Second, we have eliminated the rule that all music must be acquired before April 1. In spite of the fact that a very thoughtful and impressive individual brought me more Metallica on the 11th hour of March 31st to round out my collection, all of the guys that I've talked to say that my collection is still missing some very critical pieces to the Metallica puzzle. Kyle put it best:

"Anything that makes you listen to more Metallica is good for this experiment."

**Holy crap. The Field just said something to the audience then barked. Not sure if that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard, or if it's awesome and hard core. I'm confused and conflicted now, but I wonder what I'll think of that in three weeks. Can't wait.**

I mentioned eighty-something words ago about talking to guys about Metallica. Ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to let everyone in on information only someone in my position would know: 96.1% of all of the males who share my demographic are once-hardcore or currently-closet Metallica enjoyers. There is something inherently masculine about Metallica's thrash rock, and I could feel it deep in my loins almost immediately after "Battery" started playing. I couldn't imagine girls being really into Metallica. Not that I would judge them, But girls don't seems to have all of the pent-up aggression that testosterone provides. ****"Yessir, King Nothing!!" Wow. That really happened.****

That being said, I would like to update everyone on my current state of affairs. I feel great. I rock in the morning and again when I come home. So far no person or object has been smashed, but I have boxing gloves in my garage -- and I am an animal. The only negative side effects I have experienced are being a little bit more short-tempered with my dad, and breathing a little heavier through the mouth, causing most glass around me to fog up.

On the other hand, I have to shave more often and my bodily organs associated with reproduction and secondary sex characteristics have increased in size and heft. My scores in Big Buck Hunter have seen dramatic improvement. And somehow, without training, I know how to clean an automatic weapon and replace a rear axle in a half-ton truck.